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Eat Mor Toona

I have to admit – I’ve been amused and bemused by the brouhaha over the whole Jim Henson Co./Chick-Fil-A thing.

Don’t get me wrong:  I absolutely, positively support same sex marriage 1000%.  I see no reason why gays shouldn’t have the opportunity to meet the wrong person, marry them despite the warnings of family and friends, spend years being miserable, pay a blood-sucking divorce lawyer thousands of dollars, spend more years trying to squeeze child-support out of a deadbeat non-custodial parent and complain bitterly about their ex to their family, friends, coworkers and that weird lady at the corner liquor store just like everyone else.

I also admire and support the Jim Henson Company’s decision to end their business partnership with the Atlanta-based Chick-Fil-A – bully for them.  But I also feel a little sorry for the people who are very likely stuck in the middle:  the owner/operators of the Chick-Fil-A franchises.

Like McDonalds, the majority of Chick-Fil-A restaurants are owned and operated by individuals with a franchise license, not the corporation.  I can’t help but wonder how many of these were some poor schlep with $5,000 who thought that owning a fast food restaurant sounded like a great idea, but still wanted Sundays off.  I can’t help but wonder how many of those infamous signs about the toy recall were posted by someone too embarrassed to say, “I’m sorry you can’t get a Muppet toy here any longer, but I’m an idiot who chose to do business with an intolerant asswipe and there’s nothing I can do about it now if I don’t want to file for bankruptcy next month.”

But more than any of this, I have one question for those who have chosen to boycott Chick-Fil-A due to their stance on same-sex marriage:

What the blue hell are you doing eating there in the first place?!?!?  Don’t you know that shit will KILL YOU?  If you’re that set on cheap, fast and easy, go home and eat some tuna salad.

Sheesh.

This is all very tongue-in-cheek, of course.  I do support same-sex marriage and feel nothing but pain and sorrow for Sally Ride’s partner of 30 years, who will not receive her federal benefits because of the Defense of Marriage Act.





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