Reason #354 I’m Proud These People Call Me “Mom”

KidsExcerpt of a conversation between Oldest Son and myself:

Oldest Son:  So, what are y’all doing today?

Me:  Not much.  We may watch a movie later.

Oldest Son:  Oh, yeah?  What movie?

Me:  I dunno.  Beloved said something about Paint Your Wagon.

Oldest SonPaint Your Wagon?  Never heard of it.

Me:  It’s a musical.  From the 60s.

Oldest Son:  Anyone in it I’ve heard of?

Me:  Yeah; Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood.

(Silence)

Oldest Son:  A musical.

Me:  Yeah.

Oldest Son:  With Clint Eastwood.

Me:  Yup.

(More silence)

Oldest Son:  With singing and dancing.

Me:  Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve watched it, so I can’t say for sure that Clint is dancing, but he does sing.

(Yet more silence)

Oldest Son (scowling and squinting):  So, you wanna ask yourself:  Can you hit “high C”?  Well, can you…Punk?

Yes, it took me awhile to compose myself, too.

An Incredible Cure for What Ails Me

I was not a happy camper this weekend.

Not only did I have a houseful of teenage boys for the better part of the last two days (The Young One was playing host to a couple of his friends and I was up to my elbows in homemade pizza and monkey bread), the hormones my doctor prescribed for my menopause symptoms were, to put it mildly, a miserable failure.  Not only was TOM over a week late, I was bloated to roughly the size and shape of the Goodyear blimp.  While I appear to be on the downside of it now – I woke up in something that resembled a good mood, my rings were loose again and I didn’t need to oil up my ass to get my pants on – to say I was less than pleasant this weekend would be an understatement of some magnitude.

Don’t get me wrong – I tried very hard not to dismember anyone, and because I didn’t want The Young One’s friends to think his mother was channeling Joan Crawford, I managed to refrain from any beatings with wire coat hangers.  So, I was merely grumpy, and poor Beloved bore the brunt of that.  He almost always does, and he deals with it exceedingly well.  Of course, he knows me exceedingly well, and for the most part just stays out of my way, while occasionally asking, “Is there anything I can do to help, dear?”  And when he just can’t bear my grumping around the house any longer, he pulls out the Sure Fire Cure for My Bad Mood.

The Incredibles.

I love this film.  I love Pixar movies anyway, and this one is by far their best (WALL*E is a close second).  I tender my sincere apologies to any die-hard Toy Story or Finding Nemo fans, but as much as I like those two movies (and Monsters, Inc. and Cars and Toy Story 2 and Ratatouille) I don’t think any of the other films can quite match The Incredibles – it never fails to make me laugh, cry and cheer.  The writing and voice acting is inspired, and the character of Edna Mode alone makes the movie worth watching; Wally Shawn as the downtrodden Mr. Incredible’s boss at InsuraCare is another gem of a performance.  The movie is also smart and perceptive, taking not-so-subtle jabs at our affinity for frivolous lawsuits, suburban conformity and increasing need to celebrate everyone as “special,” regardless of an individual’s talents or abilities.

Every time I watch this film, I end up scouring the internet, searching for some bit of news heralding a sequel, and I am always disappointed – with the exception of Toy Story, Pixar has yet to make a sequel to one of its films, although there is apparently a Cars 2 in the works (which puzzles me, frankly – Cars is the least of Pixar’s offerings to date).  So, I content myself with snuggling on the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate when I’m feeling out-of-sorts and watching this wonderful film.  It always turns the trick.

What’s your sure fire cure for the blues, menopausal or otherwise?

*POP* Goes the Culture

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m so sick of politics and so ready for this mother-effing election to be over with I could just scream.  Or puke.  Or do both at the same time – it’d certainly be more enjoyable than all of this CRAP.  I’m tired of being beaten over the head with opposing viewpoints every time I turn around, and I’m tired of walking on eggshells so I don’t offend anyone by – gasp – disagreeing with them.  And living in a “battleground state” just makes it worse because you are absolutely bombarded 24/7 with political ads.  I am so sick of the whole three-ring circus, as a matter of fact, that I fell asleep during the debates last night.

Oh, yes I did.

Speaking of screaming and puking (and let’s throw a little hair-yanking in there, too), is anyone else just as tickled as me to see that the “bailout” plan congress passed is working so well?

*headdesk*

*repeatedly*

On a lighter note, we watched Iron Man this week and loved it despite the fact I usually can’t stand the sight of Robert Downey Jr. and wondered just why the hell Gwyneth Paltrow would do such a fluff little part.  I mean, isn’t that why we have “actresses” like Liv Tyler?  (Another celebrity I generally cannot stand the sight of.)  I am now waiting for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to be released on DVD, despite the lackluster reviews, as well as The Incredible Hulk, WALL*E and The Dark Knight.  Because I love adding movies to my collection…and I have a great big soft spot for comic books.

Although not a big enough soft spot to actually watch either of the Fantastic Four movies.  I have some self-respect, you know.

As for literature, I finished the fourth book in Beverly Lewis’ Abram’s Daughters series.  My, oh, my – the Amish plot just thickens all over the place.  The last book is going to have to wait, though, because I am now well into the second book in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series.  I can see why the books are popular to the point they’d make a movie out of at least the first one, but Harry Potter they ain’t.  Not by a long shot.  They don’t have the magic (and I don’t mean the “spell casting” kind) of the HP books – just a lot of contrived teenage romance and foreshadowing so heavy-handed that you know exactly what’s going to happen next.  As for the “new twists” to the vampire legend, Chelsea Quinn Yarbro has her beat all to hell and back in that regard.  However, they are a quick read and engrossing enough to justify buying the third and fourth in the series so I can read them before the movie comes out in November.

Since its release bumped Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince back to next summer.

Bastards.

WALL-E

I’m a big fan of Pixar and have been since Toy Story came out. The Incredibles is in my Top Ten favorite films.

WALL-E was funny, sweet and a great deal of fun. There were a lot of very small children in the audience, but it was so engaging that there was no fidgeting or crying or talking – a tribute to the quality of the film itself since there is very little dialog in it. As a matter of fact, the first half contains almost no dialog at all. In the pivotal moment in the film – the revelation the Captain has as he waters the plant – it’s more about what isn’t said than what is.

Go see it. It was wonderful.