Glitter, Glue and Poster Board

It’s amazing what you can do with those three things.

No, there will be no recipe today, although I almost always post one on Mondays.  But I didn’t really cook this weekend, for more than one reason.  First, Beloved had to extend his business trip to California and won’t be home until Tuesday.  Secondly, Saturday afternoon, The Young One came up to me and said, “Mom?  Um, there’s this project I, um, have to do for science?  And it’s, um, due sorta, um, on Monday.”

Swell.

The project was to do a poster board-type thing about an element from the periodic table.  Yeah…just edge-of-your-seat type of stuff, especially when it’s a totally obscure particularly well-known element like Rhenium (Re, atomic weight 75, atomic mass 186).  Nickel-based superalloys for the use in jet engines contain up to 6% of rhenium, making jet engine construction the largest use for the element, with chemical industry catalytic uses being next-most important. Because of the low availability relative to demand, rhenium is among the most expensive industrial metals, with a price average of 2009, exceeding US$6,000 per kilogram.

HEY! You can wake up now!

The project entailed listing the name, symbol, atomic weight and mass as well as the properties and practical applications of the element on a 10″ x 10″ (yes, 10 inch by 10 inch) piece of white board that MUST include a 3-dimensional rendering representing the element or it’s use(s).

If anyone cares to bitch-slap The Young One’s science teacher (who I think graduated from college 3½ hours ago) for assigning my son a very rare element whose only real commercial use is in jet engines or as a catalyst for processing unleaded gasoline and which MUST be rendered in 3D on this postage stamp-sized media, I will be more than happy to hold your coat.  And buy you a steak dinner.

Oh, yeah – did I mention this was the first weekend in four months with temperatures in the 40s and sunny, blue skies?  A weekend I spent braving the sweating, frenzied masses at the only (abysmally understaffed) craft store in town? Where I spent $37 on this project?  Then spent an entire day of said gorgeous, sunny weekend with my loving offspring, whose interest in the project was remarkably absolutely non-existent, trying to figure out just what we were going to do with $37 worth of cardboard, poster board, glue, glitter, paint, Styrofoam and markers?

Well, we got through it, and if I may say so myself, we might not have a clue as to scale and construction, but for a couple of clueless klutzes, I think we did a half decent job.

I mean, really – could you make half a jet turbine engine out of poster board, glitter paint and glue?

Gee, I hope I get a good grade on it…

14 thoughts on “Glitter, Glue and Poster Board”

  1. What grade is the Young One in again? I better start preparing now for when Princess Nagger gets to that stage. I thought her 3D House Project was bad for first grade…I can only imagine each year they get exponentially worse based on Young One’s project! I hope you get a good grade. You ROCK! 🙂
    .-= Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..You Were a Cute Male Nurse Until You Opened Your Mouth =-.

    Stacy, he’s a freshman in high school so you won’t get out of the whole “project” thing when she gets older, I’m sorry to say. I was thinking about PN’s 3D house project the entire time I was doing this, too.

  2. I think that secretly you wish you were an architect.

    I’d have to be an architect, because you can plainly see I’m no engineer.

  3. Where do they come up with this torturous crap!!
    I’ll bet you can’t wait to be “done” with school, again.
    I know I can’t.
    .-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog ..Trusting My Gut =-.

    Oh, you have no idea! Well, maybe you do. LOL The first part of the year I was just so thrilled to be done with middle school, but I think that’s worn off now.

  4. I remember those element project days (also at the last minute!). So glad it’s you this time and not me! Hope he gets an excellent grade…you both deserve it! Now, if I go bitch slap the teacher,is that steak going to be the peppered filet mignon (I think that’s what it was) you featured a few weeks ago? It looked fab, I drooled over it!
    .-= Suzicate´s last blog ..Sinful Cyber Schemes =-.

    If you’re willing to bitch-slap the silly teacher that thought this up, I will make you the filet mignon and anything else you want for dinner! 🙂

  5. To illustrate that it is the most expensive element she assigned you should have stapled the receipts to the damn board. Nice job – hope “YO” gets an A.

    You know, dear, I should have thought of that. See? We need you here.

  6. Hahahahahaha. Confession. I thought that was a diving board. They might make diving boards out of Rhenium, you never know…You are a good mother.
    .-= LPC´s last blog ..Awards, Of The Bloggish Sort. =-.

    At the time I was a crazy, desperate mother. And I don’t blame you a bit for thinking that was a diving board – we were kind of reaching with the Styrofoam glider wing and half a jet engine, but any port in a storm!

  7. I’d like to send you my almost 15 yo son for a few weeks. Is that okay? Because teen attitude has arrived just in time for his 15th bday this week and it’s not welcome here. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
    .-= Twenty Four At Heart´s last blog ..Strawberry Season =-.

    Aren’t the teen years FUN? Not. Sure, send him on out – The Young One would welcome some help taking out the trash and washing the dishes after dinner.

  8. Well, I think it’s lovely. Uhm, yeah. Lovely. Seriously, PB would have loved doing this one. He’s a materials engineer. I bet if I called him right now, he’d have 1,000 ideas for you. Now, go smack your kid and tell him he needs to talk about his homework as soon as he gets it, so you can blog about it and ask for help from the masses!!!
    .-= Mama Badger´s last blog .."I’d Rather Be" Monday =-.

    Oh, NOW you tell me! 😛 Seriously, though, this is a very good thing to know. Is PB willing to help with science projects for, say, the next 7 years? 😀

  9. I’ve spent almost half my life doing my kids’ homework. And I have got bad news for you: when they get into graduate school you are still doing the homework. I got a distinction on my last essay.

    Am I imagining it or did your print go v small in your redesign? I really hate small print, because I am old, old, old…
    .-= Duchess´s last blog ..Of no fixed address =-.

    Duchess, no – the font is the same size, it’s just grey as opposed to black. I understand that it might be hard to read, and the next iteration of this theme will have black, easier to read text. I promise.

  10. I’m sorry to admit this, but my eyes glazed over as soon as I started reading about the um, chemical thingy. But your pictures were swell!

Comments are closed.