I Am the Kiss of Death

To the Dallas Cowboys.

My first marriage was riddled with many problems, not the least of which was my love of football.

The Ex, you see, is the “creative, sensitive” type, and loathes sports.  Particularly football.  So, I didn’t get to watch a lot of football during our 12-year marriage.  And since I didn’t get to watch football, the Cowboys were the best team in the league and won three Super Bowls in 4 years.

I missed it all.  Thank you, The Ex.

Oh, I’ve been around in the years since, and have watched those marvelous players go on to highly successful post-football careers – Troy Aikman is one of the most objective and enjoyable commentators in sports television.  Emmett Smith won Dancing with the Stars.  Dion Sanders managed to find the most hideous tailor on the planet.  But the team since?

They suck.

And I’m convinced it’s because I’ve been watching.  Honestly, it’s like a switch was thrown – Jan’s married and can’t watch, the Cowboys win.  Jan gets divorced and begins watching obsessively, the Cowboys lose.  You think I’m joking?  Okay – so explain the Cleveland Browns since I’ve moved to Ohio.

See what I mean?  Just my nearness is enough to ensure crappy coaching and fumble-fingered players.

Perhaps the interests of the NFC East would be better served if I became a die-hard New York Giants fan.  After all, my desire to see the New England Patriots have a perfect season last year is the only reason the Giants won the Super Bowl.

17 thoughts on “I Am the Kiss of Death”

  1. Heck, Jan, I’ve been a Bears fan for decades and they ALWAYS suck. (We’re fans of all teams Chicago, so that makes us a pretty pathetic lot.)

    The Cowboys did have a nice thing going there for awhile. Too bad you missed it. I’m still waiting for T.O. to live up to expectations. (And don’t get me started about Romo…)

    msmetas last blog post..On Money: Mommyblogger meltdown

  2. So now that you are married again, maybe if you actually WATCHED the game (not peaking over the book you are reading after your loving husband throws his back out jumping from the barcalounger) they would win! Fair-weather fan!

  3. I’m a fair-weather fan? This, coming from a man who spends the entire game yelling “You SUCK Romo!” when he’s not calling his daughter to taunt her about the “Cowgirls.”

  4. Beloved is the spelling nazi so I have to write this with Websters in hand lest I be reprimanded. LOL

    So it’s YOUR fault the Cowboys lost? I think I’m the kiss of death for OU since Texas beat them on Saturday. It was a sad sad day for me and my girlfriend, the OU graduate. *sticking lip out in a pout*

    Midlife Slicess last blog post..Excuses Excuses

  5. Keep watching, Jan!!! I NEED you to watch. And while you’re at it, catch a few Giants and Eagles games too. But by all means…keep that remote away from my beloved Redskins. I have a sneaking suspician that you watched Sunday’s game. Why else did they lay that giant egg against St. Louis?

    Nothing Fancys last blog post..My Redskins Blew It This Week

  6. Okay – y’all need further proof about my jinxing abilities?

    I didn’t even consider watching the game last night and the Giants had their asses handed to them by Cleveland.

    Now I wish I’d watched…but I’m glad I didn’t.

    Nothing Fancy, no we didn’t watch the Redskins game – we were too busy watching the Falcons beat the Bears at the last minute (sorry, Ms. Meta!). But I seem to have spread my bad karma all over the NFC East this weekend.

  7. Hey honey, all the owners of the NFC East teams called me today and asked me to take control over the remote. Too bad for them that “I” am in control of the “memote” in my house and I consider all other divisions to be sub-human!

    Midlife – I am only a Nazi about grammar/spelling when it comes to my own children. I can’t even type as fast as I think, so you are VERY safe! 😉

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