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I Took the Weekend Off from Blogging

Since I write most of my posts the night before, this means I didn’t blog Friday night or Saturday night.  To be perfectly honest, if I weren’t into my second third glass of scotch and waiting for the oven to heat up so I can indulge in a hot apple turnover alá commode, I probably wouldn’t be blogging on a Sunday night.  But, Beloved is on his way out of town again, after a mere 26 hours at home and I don’t want him to be gone.  It was rather nice having him in bed Saturday night, if the truth be told.  I won’t embarrass anyone by going into details about what happened in said bed, since our kids do read my blog – Hi, y’all! – but let’s just say he was as happy to be there as I was to have him.

Melancholy.  I has it.

Blogging is a good way to deal with it.

Anyhoo, Beloved got home at 2:00 p.m. Saturday; that night we had reservations at Podunk’s “only 5 star restaurant” – they have REAL cloth napkins, don’t you know – and tickets to see Ron White at the Podunk Civic Center, which seats all of 4,000 if you put folding chairs on the floor.

Such a bustling metropolis.

Mr. White, for the most part, was quite funny…if you like middle-aged, foul-mouthed Texans with a penchant for Scotch and cigars.  (Oh, wait – that pretty much describes me.  Hmmmm.  Well, at least I no longer smoke.)  Seriously, though, some of his stuff – like a great many other comedians – relied far too much on juvenile sexual humor and a Lenny Bruce-like love of the “F Word”, but for the most part he was truly funny.  His bit about his first encounter with a bidet – with a heated seat, no less – made me laugh until I cried.

I wish we could say we were just as happy with our dinner, but alas, no.  The service sucked (we never saw a bread basket, the waiter didn’t ask us if we wanted anything to drink beyond our initial cocktail orders, didn’t even bother to refill our water glasses and I practcally had to beg for wine to go with our meal), the water and wine glasses were filthy, our appetizers were appallingly undercooked and it took forever for our entreés to arrive (they, surprisingly, were quite good).  Beloved, who never tips under 20%, left less than 10% and reduced the maitre’d to a quivering, blubbering mass of protoplasm when the man asked us how we enjoyed our meal as we left.

Now hush – if you’d paid $120 for a dinner that only included 2 small glasses of single malt scotch, one glass of wine and NO dessert, you’d bite off the head of anyone who asked you how your meal was, too.  It was especially disappointing because 1) we go out so seldom and 2) it was Beloved’s only night home in two weeks.

Oh, well, we had a good time at the show, although we both prefer a smaller venue for stand up comedy, and came home to persue, er, other entertainment.  Which included watching The Incredible Hulk – not bad despite the fact that Liv Tyler completely lived down up to my expectations.  Sunday morning we slept in until 9:00 a.m. (practically unheard of) and then watched Mel Brook’s The Producers with The Young One while I made brunch (eggs, bacon, butter fried potatoes and southwestern spoon bread; you know our arteries just love us, yes they do).  That’s what The Young One gets for asking me what my favorite comedy film is.  And I’m gratified to announce that he laughed all the way through it, including my favorite lines:

“You can’t shoot the actors!  They’re not animals – they’re human beings!”

“Oh yeah?  Have you ever eaten with one?”

Why that is my favorite line is a long story.  I’ll write about it one day.

After that, I fell asleep on the sofa while Beloved watched the Cowboys game.  The fact that I was unconscious for the duration is the only explanation for their 4 point victory.  In fact, I woke up once, briefly, only to have Beloved exclaim, “We’re winning!!  Go back to sleep!!”

So I did.  Gladly.  Do you realize how often I get to take a nap??  Yeah, well, you’d take advantage of it, too.

By 4:15 we were on our way to Cleveland so he could fly to Nebraska.  To make matters worse so much more exciting, we have a chance of snow through Wednesday.

Snow.

I’m so thrilled.

Not.


16 comments

Di says:

No service….. no tip….. I realize they tack on 15% gratuity automatically, but when we eat for $120 you can bet the service had better shine. (Not afraid to call the mgr to our table and give him/her an ear full) Sorry you had crappy service.

http://theblueridgegal.blogspot.com/
Di

Dis last blog post..Hubby’s Home Project

HeatherPride says:

OK, first I am going to be totally bummed today at lunch while I’m chewing on my Lean Cuisine and thinking of your fried potatoes and Southwestern spoon bread. Man.

And second, I got so excited to hear your online dating stories (from your comment on The Short Bus) and I thought I’d let you know that I’m totally going to be stalking your blog from here on out so I can hear all about them!

HeatherPrides last blog post..Prince Charming Dot Com

Snow?? Really? I’m in awe. Snow in October. Instead of 90 – 100 degree weather every day. I’m stunned at the very idea!

phhhst says:

I’m so glad your husband said something. So there’s no doubt in the waiter’s head. You made me especially hungry this morning and there’s not a lot of great choices for breakfast.

phhhsts last blog post..Kindergartners. Just ten years later.

Your meal might have sucked but it sounds like you had the perfect Sunday (except for the taking Beloved to airport part)so at least you have something to be thankful about.

I too took a nap on Sunday and it’s totally unheard of for me but this weekend wiped me out. HBL’s reunion was perfect and I intend to write a little about it later and daughter is getting better so all is well……at least for the next 5 minutes. Beyond that, I make no promises.

Have another scotch tonight and be good to yourself. :)

Midlife Slicess last blog post..Update On My Daughter

Jennifer H says:

I can’t help myself when I watch Ron White. Must be my southern Missouri upbringing.

There’s almost nothing better than a Sunday afternoon nap.

Jennifer Hs last blog post..Shadow

goodfather says:

Ha ha! Ala commode. That was a snorker. And… snow?! Isn’t it way too early for snow?

I think you already saw it, but I have an award for you! (This is my required message to you ;) ).

goodfathers last blog post..The Shed – Trailer

thistle says:

i live for Sunday afternoon naps…even on the sunny days…

and i vote we have TFAH kidnapped and dropped in the middle of Podunk…i think she needs to experience some real cold weather for a change…i’ll provide a polarfleece for her…and maybe mittens…c’mon, it’ll be fun…

thistles last blog post..Manic Monday #139

Lynn K. says:

Ugh, they’re telling us here in Pittsburgh, snow on tuesday. I really have to get out my turtlenecks.

I gotta make me some spoonbread….

Lynn K.s last blog post..Monday’s To-Do List

Be says:

It was a wonderful weekend dear! Can’t wait to see you again!

Jolly Holly says:

That was to much info, just to let you know. BAD images! Ewwww. As far as I’m concerned you both are asexual and don’t have the parts anymore (it helps me sleep at night) lol.

SSG says:

haha to jolly Holly’s comment. But me, i’d love to hear more about you and Mr Beloved, you sound like you both really love each other and that’s great, and brunch,mmmmmmm! I just had branflakes at work. pants. I WANT FRIED POTATOES!!!

SSGs last blog post..Rant

tricia says:

You had sex and a nap, all in the same weekend? I’m jealous.

tricias last blog post..Remembering to Breath

Aha! I found the kidnapping plot!! Well, at least there were plans to prevent me from dying of exposure!

Be says:

Holly may not want to hear it but yes Thistle a GREAT weekend – of course you will have to decide for yourself if she had sex and a nap at the same time! Heck – maybe she didn’t even notice that the count slipped up to 4 in 26 hours while she wasn’t looking!

;)

So sorry to hear that your dinner was a bust. I love comedy, but agree with you abour Ron White. Bill Engvall is my favorite of the Blue Collar comedians “Here’s your sign” LOL I crack up just thinking about it!

Nothing Fancys last blog post..Hip Hip Hooray!

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