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Lal-Appaloosa

AppaloosaDear Ed Harris:

We purchased and watched Appaloosa, the movie you co-wrote, directed and starred in, on DVD Friday night.

I would like my $12.99 and 2 hours back, please.

It had, well, YOU in it.  Viggo Mortensen.  Jeremy Irons.  Lance Henriksen.  It was based on a novel by Robert B. Parker.  It had the potential to be absolutely drool-worthy on so many levels I can’t even begin to go into them.  What is was, though, was a 2-dimensional piece of doo-doo that has been done before – and done to death, I might add – with Rene Zellweger as a Wild West nymphomaniac in school-marm’s clothing thrown in for…what?  Shits and giggles?

Do me a favor and go back to making movies like, I dunno, The Abyss?  At least it was mildly entertaining to watch Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio chew up the scenery and Michael Biehn go whacko…for nearly four hours (bless James Cameron’s self-indulgent little pea-pickin’ heart).

At any rate, Ed – hon, sweetie.  Please understand that I am quite sincere in my request that you never, ever, EVER make one of the Spenser novels into a movie.  ‘K?  Thanks.

Love,

Jan





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