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Lal-Appaloosa

AppaloosaDear Ed Harris:

We purchased and watched Appaloosa, the movie you co-wrote, directed and starred in, on DVD Friday night.

I would like my $12.99 and 2 hours back, please.

It had, well, YOU in it.  Viggo Mortensen.  Jeremy Irons.  Lance Henriksen.  It was based on a novel by Robert B. Parker.  It had the potential to be absolutely drool-worthy on so many levels I can’t even begin to go into them.  What is was, though, was a 2-dimensional piece of doo-doo that has been done before – and done to death, I might add – with Rene Zellweger as a Wild West nymphomaniac in school-marm’s clothing thrown in for…what?  Shits and giggles?

Do me a favor and go back to making movies like, I dunno, The Abyss?  At least it was mildly entertaining to watch Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio chew up the scenery and Michael Biehn go whacko…for nearly four hours (bless James Cameron’s self-indulgent little pea-pickin’ heart).

At any rate, Ed – hon, sweetie.  Please understand that I am quite sincere in my request that you never, ever, EVER make one of the Spenser novels into a movie.  ‘K?  Thanks.

Love,

Jan


9 comments

tricia says:

Thanks for saving me from spending two hours of my life on blah.

tricias last blog post..Do You Let It All Hang Out?

Di says:

Gosh I hate it when I dole out money for a movie and it turns out to be a pot of doo doo…. Your’e right. We should get our money back for garbage products.

Dis last blog post..The Keeper

Lori says:

I almost rented that movie this past weekend but was going to in the near future. Mainly because I love Viggo Mortensen(looking at him). But, now I’m glad that I didn’t waste money or my time…thanks for letting me know!

Loris last blog post..Interviewed by the Queen

Irish Gumbo says:

Renee Zellweger as a nympho, what’s not to like? ;) Still, thank you for the warning.

OH! I just got it: Lal-Appaloosa – Lollapalooza. Very nice! Hard to put one past ME I tell you, I’m sharp like a bowling ball!

Irish Gumbos last blog post..Jacked Of All Trades

So I’m guessing you gave it two thumbs down? LOL

Midlife Slicess last blog post..He Asked and I Answered

So, Jan, why don’t you tell us what you really think! ROFLMAO. This isn’t really my kind of movie anyway but thanks for the heads up.

Smart Mouth Broads last blog post..THE MAKING OF A BIKER CHICK – Mount Rushmore

thistle says:

hmmm…wasn’t this a Brando movie last time? And great horse and western fan that i am, i don’t think i liked it them either…too bad, it sounded like it would be an improvement this round, at least in the scenery department.

thistles last blog post..Manic Monday #151

Midlife Mama says:

ROFLMAO. I LOVED your review. I’ve felt like that before about movies. “A two-dimensional pile of doo-doo”?? Love it. OMG. You should write reviews for a living. Seriously. I laughed my hiney off reading that. And that’s no easy feat, considering my hiney is nothing to sneeze at. LOL

Midlife Mamas last blog post..99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall . . .

I haven’t seen this movie and now, never will! I adore Ed Harris…he’s got something that I just cant put my finger on. Charisma? Sex appeal? Not sure. But I’ll leave this movie for the doo-doo lovers of the world.

Nothing Fancys last blog post..NFC Champs – The Arizona Cardinals

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