Oh, Lookie Here…

No Smoking200 posts.  Wow.  Is there a protocol for your 200th post?  (I’ll spare you 200 facts about me, since I can’t count and you’d end up with 327.)

Anyhoo, that’s not what I wanted to talk about.  What I wanted to talk about is the fact that, as of today, I have not had a cigarette in a year.

Yay, me.

I have to be honest – I wanted to quit.  I was ready to quit.  I didn’t enjoy it any longer, and I was tired of the expense and the smell and the mess.  I was tired of feeling controlled by it.  I was tired of being a social pariah of sorts.

I was tired of being a smoker.

I was also tired of being afraid.  You see, my mother was a life-long smoker and it was a contributing cause to her death at 51.  Once I hit my 40s, I began to get more and more nervous about my fate as a smoker.  Once 45 was staring me in the face, I guess I finally realized that I could no longer say “I’ll quit later, when I’m older” because “later” and “older” were here.  Mom was never able to quit, even after her surgery and I was damned if I was going to let that nasty, dangerous habit rule me for the rest of my life – it already had for long enough.

So, when we got up on the morning of December 23 last year and boarded our plane for Hawaii, I just stopped.  We were in airplanes or airports for 16 hours and I figured if I could go that long without a cigarette, I could go forever.  It was surprisingly easy, and by the time we got home 12 days later I realized that yes, I was done.

I won’t lie – there are times when I still crave one, but I just wait for a few seconds and the desire passes (it’s usually when I have a glass of wine beside me and Beloved lights up).  Most of the time, though, they just smell awful and having Beloved still smoking is a major nuisance, because when he’s not smoking around me I don’t think about it at all.  I try not to nag him, though, because when it’s time for him to quit, he will, and there isn’t anything I can do to change that time table.

I also won’t lie and tell you I haven’t gained any weight, because I have.  Quite a bit, as a matter of fact, but I’ll take that as an acceptable compromise, because I know for a fact I can lose it – I have before.

Perhaps that will be my “I did this for my health” anniversary post for next year.

14 thoughts on “Oh, Lookie Here…”

  1. A big HUG from me. I look in on your BLOG every day and really enjoy reading about your life and the family. I haven’t been commenting — because why send an “I’m so sorry you’re feeling ill — or whatever”. But today, I want to give a big hug. Having been there — an ex-smoker — I know how difficult it is. You should be very proud of yourself. And yes, Jim continued to smoke after I quit–and like you, I realized it would be his decision. But I want you to know, dear girl, I can appreciate how difficult it has been. So — Good On You Girl. xxxxxxx Grandma

  2. Yeah Jan! I quit 12 years ago and never looked back. I totally know what you mean about not until you are ready though. When I was ready- I did it! I am glad you were ready too!

  3. Congratulations from me too. Good for you on the posts. Better for you on the fags. In February it will be 26 years since my last cigarette. I never want one now. The whole idea is repulsive. But it took a long time (years). I hope Beloved joins you soon.

    Duchesss last blog post..A bit parky out there

  4. Congratulations and welcome to the club. I smoked my last on Oct. 28th, 1994 and my daughter sends me an anniversary card marking the day every year. Best thing I ever did (next to marrying Hubby) was to give up the nasty habit forever!!

    Good job and Happy Holidays to you.
    The Blue Ridge Gal

    Dis last blog post..Happy 35th To My Christmas Eve Child

  5. How did i miss this post!! i’ll blame it on the snow and too much Bailey’s 😉

    Big congratulations on both the 200 milestone, and the 1 year anniversary. Quitting smoking is a huge accomplishment, and i get your reaons for doing it completely…my dad who also has the Triple A thing going on finally quit when he got that diagnosis. Oddly, that has not been enough to get my brother to quit…who at almost 52, has been smoking for 39 years…seriously. Not sure what it will take with him…perhaps he’ll be one of those guys who pulls out the oxygen tube so he can get a few drags in…whole new meaning to ‘die hard smoker’ IMO..


    Thistles last blog post..I’m thinking about doing what?!

Comments are closed.