As I was planting our vegetable garden this past weekend, I told Beloved, “This does not come naturally to me.” Okay, I may have snapped that at him, as he hovered over me correcting the way I did everything. And it doesn’t – I’m a city girl who hunts and forages at the grocery store…from a long line of city girls who have hunted and foraged at the grocery store. I’m lucky my one, lone house plant has not died (it used to be three lone house plants, but…well, two of them died).
Things I’ve Learned This Year About Gardening: buying a small plastic container of “starter” onions will result in you planting 2 dozen onions in the small space allotted to vegetables in your back yard, leaving you feeling incredibly guilty about throwing the other three thousand away. Who knew they could fit so many damn onions in that itty-bitty container??
Jolly and her honey have decided on a name for the new baby: Garret Van. Unfortunately, I have had trouble remembering it – at least his first name. I’ve taken to calling him Little Conversion Van, which tickles Beloved to no end; he wants to know if they have a daughter if I’m going to call her Recreational Vehicle.
*shrugs* Only if her middle name is Vehicle.
Hey, if you think I’m bad, Beloved refers to him as “Jolly’s Little Garrote.”
Thankfully, Jolly has a good sense of humor about it all. (As if she has a choice – she knows how we are.)
Beloved came barelling out of the bedroom this morning while we were getting ready for work, shouting, “I don’t believe it! They’ve got Lee Majors selling hearing aids on television!”
Yeah, well, that’s what you get for watching Saturday Night Fever at 7:30 a.m. on AMC.
Actually, I believe it. It’s certainly more apropos than Lindsay Wagner selling Sleep Number beds, Sally Field selling osteoporosis medication and is certainly more believable than Dennis Hopper hawking financial services for aging baby boomers.
But, you know, I’ve just got to wonder just how expensive those hearing aids are…
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