RTT: Sometimes “Uh-oh” is a Wholly Appropriate Response

Random Tuesday Thoughts

A conversation between me and Beloved last night:

Beloved:  What are you doing?

Me:  Thinking about my post for tomorrow.

Beloved:  Random Thoughts?

Me:  Yup.

Beloved:  Do you have any random thoughts?

Me:  Do I have any other kind?

Beloved:  Well, do you have any you can actually publish?

I love you too dear.

~~~~~~

Have you heard about that poor model in Argentina who died after having her ass augmented?  According to one news article, “the injections used in her procedure were a synthetic polymer called PMMA. According to Wikipedia, PMMA is often used in the construction industry as a replacement for glass, and is known by many brand names, including Plexiglass.”

Plexiglass.

Honey, you’re a human being, not a store front window.

I wish I’d known that – I could have saved her life.  I could have guaranteed her a regimen that would have substantially increased the size of her backside in six weeks.  Okay, yes – everything else would have increased in size along with it (possibly her IQ?), but that’s not the point, now is it?

~~~~~~

When I heard about the above, I’m afraid I went off on a bit of a rant (I know – me?  Rant?? Surely not).

“I don’t understand this!” I yelled as I stood in the kitchen frying bacon and Beloved went blithely about his business, as he is wont to do when I’m on a tangent.  “I’m an organ donor, you know!”

Granted, at my age the only good I’d do is if someone needed a jaw muscle transplant because that seems to be the one thing on my aging body that works as well as did twenty years ago, but again – that’s not the point.

It was about this time that The Young One came strolling through the kitchen, doubtlessly drawn by the aroma of scorching pork product, the dog hot on his heels, both hoping for handout.

“I HAVE ASS TO SPARE, PEOPLE!!” I cried, brandishing my spatula while Scooter simultaneously cringed and looked hopeful.

The Young One was totally nonplussed.  “Are you talking about me?”

Ass, kiddo, not smart ass.

~~~~~~

The other day at work, I received this IM from Beloved:

Beloved:  John Smith wants me to come up for some additional training.  Do we have anything going on between the 20th and the 23rd?

Me:  Of December?

Beloved:  Well, yeah.

Me:  You mean besides my birthday?

Beloved:  Uh-oh.

Yup, you guessed it – I’m spending my birthday in beautiful downtown Kalamazoo, Michigan.  Life in the fast lane, folks.  (Actually, I could think of worse places to spend my birthday.)

Recommendations for a nice restaurant to have dinner?

~~~~~~~

You may or may not remember my fit of hysteria over our bathroom decor at work recently.  You also may or may not remember the bet I made that the Autumn Horn O’ Plenty would be the decor of choice come Easter.  Some of you took me up on that.

I’m pleased to report you’d win the bet, for as sure teenagers should be shipped to a desert island until they’re 25, our Women’s Room Decoration has changed with the seasons.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with:

Snow Fountain

The Snow…Thingie

To give me credit, I did NOT burst into gales of laughter when I walked into the bathroom after Thanksgiving and saw this little gem sitting on the counter – mostly because I didn’t know what it was.

Confused, I invited Beloved into the women’s room (always a pleasure for him) to take a gander.

“Why does it have water sitting in it?” I asked.

“Well, it’s a fountain,” he replied.

And by golly, he was right.  Of course, it’s not a working fountain.  I mean, I’m sure it would be, if someone bothered to plug it in; it’s not as if there isn’t an outlet right there.

Then again, the outlet is right next to a sink, and while I’m sure the management is not in the least bit concerned that one of the tenants might electrocute themselves (trust me – they aren’t), the possibility someone might blow a fuse and deprive us all of power is definitely a consideration.

In the meantime, I get to spend the duration of the Holiday Season enjoying the pleasures of plastic snowmen and stagnant water.

It’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

~~~~~~

For more Random Holiday Tuesday Thoughts, head on over and visit Keely at The Un-Mom.  I’m sure she has working fountains with reasonably fresh water.

28 thoughts on “RTT: Sometimes “Uh-oh” is a Wholly Appropriate Response”

  1. They can harvest fat and inject it into asses now. I saw it on one of those makeover shows..or maybe it was Dr 90210. Sounds much safer than having plexiglass in ones ass.
    .-= Kat´s last blog ..RTT- S’not =-.

  2. LOVED the convo between you and your hubby…heh, heh!!

    I’ve never understood the need to enlarge one’s ass. Mine has enlarged quite successfully on its own. Love that your Young One has ‘smart ass’ to spare! Tell him to keep it to himself, though – Princess Nagger is developing plenty of smart ass and will also probably have some to spare at some point. Like tomorrow. 😉

    You’re a December baby, too! WooHoo! Kalamazoo is a pretty place – it’s been years since I’ve been there, so I don’t have any restaurant suggestions…but I’ll be looking forward to finding out where you land! 🙂

    So the cornucopia really did get replaced! Why on god’s green earth would someone put water in a non-working fountain? Oh, wait…I forgot that it’s the same person who put any sort of festive decor in a funky bathroom. 😉

    Happy RTT! 🙂
    .-= Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts – Fun in 3D with TP and Spam =-.

  3. I heard about that model, but not the part about the plexiglass. That is insane. The lengths people will go to to attain ‘beauty.’ Sad.

    We seem to have smart ass to spare in this house too. Along with regular ass. We’re overflowing with ass on all fronts.

    Have a great day!

  4. Love your random thoughts…love your conversation with Beloved….hadn’t heard about the model with a plexiglass ass..sad…you going off on a rant?….I don’t believe it….lol…love that smart ass of yours….:)….glad they changed the decorations…:)…that’s right, you have a birthday coming up…:)…happy tuesday my friend…XX Lori
    .-= Lori´s last blog ..It’s Time For Happy Hour =-.

  5. Re: Plexiglass in the butt. Shouldn’t that be PlexiAss?

    Re: The fountain, placement of the outlet. So you can plug in your electric razor and shave at work. Duh. But is there a hook in the stall for you to hang your purse so you don’t have to put your purse on the floor? You know — something that would actually be useful?
    .-= class factotum´s last blog ..Why spellcheck can’t do everything =-.

  6. How does putting Plexiglass in a person seem like a good idea? Eat a cheeseburger. Do some squats. Avoid getting construction supplies surgically implanted in your ass. Seems like common sense, right?

    The snowman ornament kind of looks like a parade float or a snowy iceberg. Maybe they’re adrift in the Arctic frantically waving for help, cursing those permanently affixed smiles?

    Teens on an island till they’re 25. Yes. I’m in.
    .-= Mrsbear´s last blog ..Killer of Green and Random Tuesday Thoughts =-.

  7. Ahhh….another Christmas baby. My birthday is the 22nd. I asked the husband if he had thought about what we are going to do. He acted hurt until I reminded him that he didn’t even tell me happy birthday last year until I had to ask him if he was even going to acknowledge it. In his defense he was in CA to see his 90 year old Dad and Mom for the first time in 15 years so I’m sure that was massively stressful and he just forgot. But still, no present, no card, nothing. And then he did the unthinkable. Yup. He gave me a birthday/Christmas gift. Such a HUGE no no.
    This year I’m heading him off at the pass and making sure he understands that they are two SEPERATE events to be celebrated…uh…SEPERATELY.

  8. What killed me about Miss Argentina? She left behind two adorable twin boys. All for the sake of a plexibutt. Grrrr.

    I’m enjoying your bathroom experience, even if you’re not…

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