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Scent of a Woman

PerfumeDear Personages of the Female Persuasion Who Share the Public Restroom on My Floor:

While I am thrilled that you are thrilled with what is undoubtedly very expensive perfume, it really is unnecessary for you to bathe in it each and every time you go to the john.

Really.

Trust me on this.

I’m sure it’s very lovely scent, but I can’t really be certain because the stench of it practically knocks me unconscious every time I enter the damn bathroom.  It’s hard to appreciate the smell of something that is physically assaulting you – and winning.  It is, in fact, so bad that I’ve been seriously contemplating the mechanics required for the use of a urinal without a penis.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make an appointment with an ear, nose and throat specialist, to see if my olfactory sense will ever operate normally again.  In the meantime, I’m sure I’m not the only person in a five-mile radius the building who would appreciate it if you would be so kind as to throw the Chanel No. 5 knockoff out the window practice a little moderation.

Thanks ever so much,

The Only Woman in That Weird Office With All the Star Trek Signs and Computer Geeks


20 comments

Well…it could be worse!

Oh, it IS much worse, trust me. You’d think people who cared this much about how they smell wouldn’t be PIGS, but you’d be wrong. I hate using the bathroom here at the office, and usually go to the first floor if I can.

Nothing Fancys last blog post..MONEY IN THE BANK – Love Your Library

Di says:

With that much fragrance you really have to wonder what body odor it is that they are trying to cover up.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

(Nice new template btw)

That’s a damn fine question, really. And thank you!

Dis last blog post..Projects

Lori says:

Like your new look here. I think some people think more of something good is better and maybe sometimes it is but not always…too much of even an expensive perfume is just too stinky and gives me a head ache.

My mother was fond of saying “All things in moderation” – something these people would do well to consider!

Loris last blog post..Ordinary Moments

Irish Gumbo says:

*Haaacckk, pi-too, haawwwwkkk, coughcoughGASP,hooo-waahh*

Wow, that leapt off the page!

Like the new look, groovy, my dear. Happy Monday!

It just leaps out of the restroom, too!

Thank you muchly and and very Happy Monday to you, too! Muah!!

Irish Gumbos last blog post..Nice Guy Facing The Truth

Be says:

As long as we are picking on foul traits of the female persuasion, can you please make a law against women using nail polish remover on airplanes! It’s illegal to smoke in the air: then again if someone lit a match at the same time one of these women was doing her nails you could read about the fireball on the 6 o’clock news!

YUCKY NASTY!

LOL – I’d forgotten about “nassy, yuck!” (It was a favorite expression of The Young One when he was, well, younger.) As for you, m’dear, I wish you could overcome this extreme prejudice against nail polish remover – I’d love to take you to get a spa pedicure. You need one!

Ginger says:

Wow, your new look surprised me! I wasn’t sure where I was for a moment. i like the lavender colors, very sheek (that’s chic, I think, y’all). I’ll have to tell you all about my grandchild-to-be sometime. It’s a real different story, that’s for sure.

This is actually an “old” look – I had this up around April of last year. But I liked it and I was tired of the old “autumn” theme and just have not had time to code either the “winter” theme or the “tropical” theme I’ve designed. Too much to do, too much to do!

You told me about the hypno-doula (that cracks me up every time I think about it) – I can’t wait to hear how it actually works! LOL

Gingers last blog post..Baby Ducks (Macro Monday)

Thistle says:

Pretty!

and

Funny!

Great new look…i was just thinking that you would be redecorating soon as we all seem to be in need of reassuring ourselves that spring is indeed on it’s way.

And now i’m off to raid your recipe box for suitable recipes for our favourite client…

Thank you, ma’am! Yes, I need a hint of spring, for sure! Winter is starting to drag on me.

If she likes pasta, chicken and veggies, I have a cheap and easy “almost lo-mein” recipe posted here somewhere; it should be under Asian, Easy and Budget in the recipe section.

And my offer of the voodoo doll stands! ;)

Pseudo says:

I love the new look Jan, and that photo of the sushi, yum.

I hate allergy induced by perfume. Or AX. Every once in awhile a boy in my class will use that AX crap and my class smells like an adolescence boy’s cologne aisle.

Yes, our entire upstairs smells like Axe these days. Oh, well, at least it stays upstairs, and I suppose it’s preferable to the overpowering aroma of 14-year-old boy underarms. LOL

Pseudos last blog post..STAWTTN: Rewind

Anne Gibert says:

Your post resurrected a long ago memory of my working days. I worked at a medical school, where a male fellow researcher, a Ukrainian, used some kind of after-shave cologne that literally prevented me from breathing when I made the serious mistake of getting on the elevator with him.

I wonder how you avoided that scenario afterwards – did you smile and kindly tell him you’d wait for the next lift, since it was best he and his smell be alone? LOL

Linda T says:

Thanks for the new look Jan! I have mid Feb blues. Perhaps you should type an anonymous note and hang it on the bathroom mirror. I can tell you are REALLY OFFENDED by the stench and it will make you feel better to express it. How many other women use the bathroom? Any clues who it might be?

I had Sushi (something called a crunchy roll) for lunch today, along with some edamame in soy with lots of wasabi and ginger. YUMMMM

Hmmm…as to whom it might be, how about every woman who works at the “direct sales” company (those annoying people who call you during dinner, trying to get you to subscribe to the newspaper or magazines) right down the hall? I think the only requirements for that job is the ability to walk upright and opposable thumbs; they may not be able to read.

Mmmm…cruchy rolls and edamame; I am seriously envious of your lunch! I had a turnkey sandwich. *sigh*

Tricia says:

Blahhhh. Nassy Yuck is right.

Your color scheme is a tease, it’s like foreplay for spring.

Oh, please – let spring come soon. Soon. SOON.

I’ll purple everyone to death until then. LOL

TC says:

Jan, I believe you mean “Fucktard, Inc.” not “direct sales”.

ROFLMAO – duly noted, m’dear. But we might be behooved to note that “Fucktard” is more descriptive of the employees than their actual business (although it is also aptly descriptive of their business practices, as well).

Ooooooo la-la! Passionate purple! I likey.

Yeah, all that pisspume (a hangover from childhood) gives me a headache. I just have no tolerance for it. I might have to leave a nice note in the bathroom for everyone to see. About too much pisspume, I mean.

“Pisspume” made me and Beloved both LOL. As for the note, we’re not quite sure these folks can read…

Fragrant Liars last blog post..Smooooooth

This post reminded me of a guy I use to date. LOL He had a rather unpleasant bathroom problem (not to mention he was brain damaged slightly) and would try to cover up the odor with room spray. The more odor….the more room spray. I asked him….. what is that fragrance? Bear shit in a flower garden #2?? He was not amused. :)

BTW, nice pretty springy layout.

p.s. Yes, I really dated him. He was gorgeous. LOL

Okay, Bear shit in a flower garden #2 made me and Beloved ROFL. Girl, you are too much! He just didn’t have much of a sense of humor – we were VERY amused.

Midlife Slicess last blog post..It’s A Quiz

Great new look. I couldn’t agree more. I always heard that the rule is you shouldn’t be able to smell a fragrance on a woman unless you are up close and personal. Some of the smellies out there just give me a headache.

Hmmm…I guess they may not have much luck with “up close and personal” and perhaps that is their motive for the full frontal assault on the nostrils.

Beth says:

Some women AND men never learned that rule that less is more. And more is less.

You just gave me one more reason I love working with elementary students. They rarely wear fumes.

And they do such entertaining things like shit bears. Oh, that just cracked me up!

Allison says:

That woman really gets around since I used to work with her. Really, I always thought the purpose of perfume was to be alluring, as in pull a man in closer. Not knock him over the head with a sledgehammer. I can only think these benighted women’s olfactory nerves have finally succumbed to the onslaught and died.

Ah, Allison, if ’twere only one. I’m sad to announce that the Great Perfume Battalion is made up of more than one woman, and what’s more – they travel in packs. *sigh*

goodfather says:

Speaking of Star Trek, my beautiful wife just got me the Riker ornament for next Christmas (yeah, she’s a planner)! I’m so excited! Our hobo tree down by the river is going to have at least one cool ornament on it. :D

OMG – look who’s back!

I started something with that whole Star Trek ornament, didn’t I? You’ll also be happy to know I’ve been busy indoctrinating introducing The Young One to STNG – it’s become a dinner-time ritual to watch an episode while we eat. We’re now about halfway through the first season and he loves it.

SSG says:

ooOoooOOooo star trek signs! Going to post a picture of your desk? And I used to hate the changing rooms at gym in school, all the girls with clouds of deodorant… no-one had showers, just sprayed liberal amounts of anti perspirant. Mental.

LOL – you want pictures of my desk?? I’m not sure I’m quite ready to unleash my incredible disorganization on an unsuspecting, unprepared world.

Loving the new design! I need to change mine. There’s a woman in my office who not only sprays the cloying stuff, but then moisturizes every hour on the hour with the lotion and it kills me! I’m seriously considering testing out the Febreze to see if it really does kill those annoying scents.

Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..He Drives

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