Big Kahuna Burgers

I took the day off yesterday.  I didn’t blog or comment – heck, I didn’t even work the entire day.  After lunch my poor, tired brain said “%#$! this!” and I went and got a hair cut, then treated myself a manicure and a pedicure.  If I’d had the time and funds, I’d have gone clothes shopping, too.

I really, really needed all of that.

We also had Jolly and The G Man over for dinner last night, which I also needed.  There’s nothing like a good dose of grandson to cheer a weary Meema up, I must say.  We’d decided to grill burgers and serve them some sweet potato salad, on the premise that it would be a simple dinner.  Except I’d had an idea rolling around in my head for, well, years really, and decided it was a good time to make the idea a reality.

If you ask me, Beloved, Oldest Son, Darling Daughter and The Young One what our Top 10 Favorite Films are, I can guarantee you that Pulp Fiction would be on each of our lists.  It’s the film that vaulted John Travolta back into big-time fame, made Quentin Tarantino an A-list director and made me absolutely fall in love with Samuel L. Jackson.  Roger Ebert once said the film was all about redemption, and I agree with that.  Jules is my favorite character in the entire movie, and I love the fact that while he’s a Bad Ass Motherfucker, his redemption is also the most profound.

And I’ve wanted a Big Kahuna Burger ever since.

Despite the long list of ingredients, it was a simple dinner – these burgers come together really quickly, especially if you fry the bacon and plantains, and make the spicy sauce ahead of time.  I didn’t put cheese on mine, but the rest of the family did so if you want to, a nice pepper cheese would probably be good.  There’s also no lettuce on them, but that’s mostly because I had no large leaf lettuce in the house, so knock yourself out with some iceberg or butter lettuce if you like.  You can also serve them on a bun, if you must, but even without it, this is still a tasty burger.

Note:  This is not low calorie, low carb, or low fat.  It is in no way, shape, form or fashion “diet” food, but it was made with grass-fed beef, the Better Than Miracle Whip was, of course, made with pastured eggs and all of the fruits and vegetables were as organic and sustainably raised as I could manage.

And sometimes, that’s good enough.

Big Kahuna Burger
Big Kahuna Burger
Big Kahuna Burgers
Serves: 6
  • 2 pounds ground beef
  • 1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger
  • 1/3 cup fresh pineapple juice
  • 1/3 cup wheat-free tamari or soy sauce
  • 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes, or to taste
  • 1 teaspoon freshly-ground black pepper
  • 6 thick slices pineapple
  • 6 thick slices bacon
  • 1/2 medium red onion, sliced
  • 6 thick slices tomato
  • 1 medium plantain
  • 1 tablespoon ghee or butter
  • 1/2 cup Better Than Miracle Whip
  • 1/4 cup Asian chili sauce (Sriracha)
  • 2 tablespoons cilantro, finely chopped
  1. In a large mixing bowl, thoroughly combine the ground beef, ginger, pineapple juice, tamari, red pepper flakes and black pepper. Pat into 6 patties; cover with plastic wrap and set aside.
  2. Cut the bacon slices in half and fry until crisp. Drain on a paper towel; keep warm and set aside.
  3. Melt the ghee or butter in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Slice the plantain on the bias into 12 pieces and fry until golden brown on each side. Remove from the heat, but keep warm, and set aside.
  4. In a small bowl, whisk together the Better Than Miracle Whip with the Sriracha and cilantro. Cover and set aside.
  5. Grill the burgers on a gas or charcoal grill using indirect heat, until medium – about 7 minutes per side. Grill the pineapple slices alongside the burgers over direct heat until golden with nice grill marks, about 3 to 4 minutes per side.
  6. Serve the burgers with the pineapple, plantain, bacon, onion, tomato and spicy sauce.
  7. Nutrition (per serving): 670 calories, 46.6g total fat, 136.6mg cholesterol, 1670.1mg sodium, 967.3mg potassium, 27.6g carbohydrates, 2.7g fiber, 16.7g sugar, 38.4g protein