Lal-Appaloosa

AppaloosaDear Ed Harris:

We purchased and watched Appaloosa, the movie you co-wrote, directed and starred in, on DVD Friday night.

I would like my $12.99 and 2 hours back, please.

It had, well, YOU in it.  Viggo Mortensen.  Jeremy Irons.  Lance Henriksen.  It was based on a novel by Robert B. Parker.  It had the potential to be absolutely drool-worthy on so many levels I can’t even begin to go into them.  What is was, though, was a 2-dimensional piece of doo-doo that has been done before – and done to death, I might add – with Rene Zellweger as a Wild West nymphomaniac in school-marm’s clothing thrown in for…what?  Shits and giggles?

Do me a favor and go back to making movies like, I dunno, The Abyss?  At least it was mildly entertaining to watch Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio chew up the scenery and Michael Biehn go whacko…for nearly four hours (bless James Cameron’s self-indulgent little pea-pickin’ heart).

At any rate, Ed – hon, sweetie.  Please understand that I am quite sincere in my request that you never, ever, EVER make one of the Spenser novels into a movie.  ‘K?  Thanks.

Love,

Jan

*POP* Goes the Culture

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m so sick of politics and so ready for this mother-effing election to be over with I could just scream.  Or puke.  Or do both at the same time – it’d certainly be more enjoyable than all of this CRAP.  I’m tired of being beaten over the head with opposing viewpoints every time I turn around, and I’m tired of walking on eggshells so I don’t offend anyone by – gasp – disagreeing with them.  And living in a “battleground state” just makes it worse because you are absolutely bombarded 24/7 with political ads.  I am so sick of the whole three-ring circus, as a matter of fact, that I fell asleep during the debates last night.

Oh, yes I did.

Speaking of screaming and puking (and let’s throw a little hair-yanking in there, too), is anyone else just as tickled as me to see that the “bailout” plan congress passed is working so well?

*headdesk*

*repeatedly*

On a lighter note, we watched Iron Man this week and loved it despite the fact I usually can’t stand the sight of Robert Downey Jr. and wondered just why the hell Gwyneth Paltrow would do such a fluff little part.  I mean, isn’t that why we have “actresses” like Liv Tyler?  (Another celebrity I generally cannot stand the sight of.)  I am now waiting for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to be released on DVD, despite the lackluster reviews, as well as The Incredible Hulk, WALL*E and The Dark Knight.  Because I love adding movies to my collection…and I have a great big soft spot for comic books.

Although not a big enough soft spot to actually watch either of the Fantastic Four movies.  I have some self-respect, you know.

As for literature, I finished the fourth book in Beverly Lewis’ Abram’s Daughters series.  My, oh, my – the Amish plot just thickens all over the place.  The last book is going to have to wait, though, because I am now well into the second book in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series.  I can see why the books are popular to the point they’d make a movie out of at least the first one, but Harry Potter they ain’t.  Not by a long shot.  They don’t have the magic (and I don’t mean the “spell casting” kind) of the HP books – just a lot of contrived teenage romance and foreshadowing so heavy-handed that you know exactly what’s going to happen next.  As for the “new twists” to the vampire legend, Chelsea Quinn Yarbro has her beat all to hell and back in that regard.  However, they are a quick read and engrossing enough to justify buying the third and fourth in the series so I can read them before the movie comes out in November.

Since its release bumped Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince back to next summer.

Bastards.