Live Real. Eat Real.

The Truth, And Nothing But the Truth. Sort Of.

TrueNo Random Tuesday Thoughts today – I’m going to tell which statement from my Friday post is false.  And after reading your guesses, I have to say, I’m a bit nonplussed.

Do I look like a knife-wielding, bungee-jumping psycho?

I guess so…y’all know me too well.  Anyhoo, without further ado, here are the answers.

1.  I once attacked my husband with a steak knife.  TRUE.

Well, see now, attacked is a strong word.  I once got so mad at the ex-husband – the only human being in the world capable of making me angry enough to commit murder – that I grabbed what I thought was a handful of wooden spoons and plastic spatulas and hurled them at him across the kitchen. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how I’m feeling about him at the moment), the steak knife hiding in there only grazed the top of his head.

Some time I’ll have to get around to telling the story about how I kinda sorta accidentally stabbed him in the chin with a fork.

2.  I was once a line cook at an upscale French bistro.  FALSE

As much as I love to cook, I’ve never worked in a restaurant.  I’ve managed a professional retail bakery, where I also served as the head cake decorator, but nope – not a restaurant.  How come so many of you guessed this??

3.  I have gone bungee jumping.  TRUE.

I’ve written before about my experiences with internet dating and how I met a few nice men.  One of the nice men I dated was several years younger than me – and quite adventurous.  To this day I don’t know how the hell he talked me into bungee jumping, especially when you consider that I am terrified of heights, but he did.  I’d love to be able to say it was at some exotic location, like over a tropical waterfall, but alas – it was at an amusement park.

So there you have it…more insomnia-curing facts about me.

Have a lovely day, y’all.


Pseudo says:

Ack. I am incorrect. In my defense, my visual was you holding a big butcher knife a la Firday the 14th style.

good fun

Jan says:

Psuedo – that’s exactly why I included that one in the list; I thought everyone would say, “Oh, she’s crazy, but she’s not THAT crazy!” Besides, it was a bit of an exaggeration.

Not that I’m good at that or anything.

Ah, well – I almost put in “I’m afraid of the dark” instead; perhaps that would have been harder to believe?

You’re right – this has been lots of fun!

I TOTALLY can picture you throwing a steak knife. My only question being … why not a cleaver?

Twenty Four At Hearts last blog post..My Tinderbox, My Home

Jan says:

A cleaver would have been way too obvious.

And given him time to duck.

DANG! I am so much better at lying than I am at seeing the truth! 🙂 Okay, so you come by your cooking skillz naturally. I think you should be on What’s My Line, since you can fool so many of us so well.

What? That show’s not on anymore?

Fragrant Liars last blog post..Heaven’s a Bad Place

Jan says:

FL – more people guessed the lie than didn’t! I was surprised.

What’s My Line isn’t on anymore? Hmmm…perhaps I should start watching a little more television.

Hah! I got both you and Pseudo right! You actually wrote in my comments when I did my Spin on bungee jumping that you had done it before. So, I had an inside scoop!
Happy dance!

Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..RTT: Too’s Day, Not Thur’s Day. Thur, don’t be greedy.

Jan says:

But…but…but…the whole knife thing…

Oh, who am I kidding. Yeah, I can throw knives.

stoneskin says:

My word, that steak knife incident, unbelievable!

I can’t remember whether I thought (2) or (3) was the lie, couldn’t never figure if (3) was a bluff.

I once threw a phone at my ex (it missed him and went thru the window…) but a knife is much better.

Maureen at IslandRoars last blog post..Barbie Girl

Jan says:

Stoneskin – you’re telling me it was unbelievable; I have absolutely shitty aim. If I’d thrown it at him with the intention of stabbing him, one of the neighbors may have very well been blinded.

Maureen – Oh, I have a telephone story too. I shall have to post it, because now that I think about it, the incident absolutely epitomizes my first marriage.

Rebecca says:

Woo Hoo!! I’m right!!! (That rarely happens)
Good job tricking so many of us.
Ahh, now I feel like we have bonded…gotten to know each other more. Isn’t this nice????

Rebeccas last blog post..Busy, busy, busy…

Jan says:

Rebecca – yes, it is nice!

Well, you are nice. Me? I chuck steak knives at people. Unintentionally.

Be says:

I think the lie was obvious because it was the only thing believable. Maybe you learned to cook by throwing knives at your husband! Chefs do that!

I too was reminded that you need to “fess up” about whacking him with a hammer. Or was that whacking a hole with your shovel?

Jan says:

Now, look at you – making all these poor people think I go around whacking people with hammers.

Shovels, and only shovels. Sheesh!

As I said in my comment Friday, the chef thing was just too believable so I figured it was a trick. Between your shovel and knives and my guns, we would make quite a crime-fighting team. LOL

Smart Mouth Broads last blog post..THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

Beth says:

I will sleep better tonight! 🙂

I liked your truths. They make for great stories.

Beths last blog post..Cake Day for Mr. Funny

Jan says:

Oooo – SMB, I wanna be your sidekick!! Can I have a cape?

Beth – I’m sure you’re not the only person who sleeps better at night knowing that I don’t deliberately attack people with steak knives. LOL

OMG. I leave my guess AFTER this post was posted and I’m still half wrong. Slug Flu, I tell ya. It’s a pandemic and it’s eating away at my brain AND body. Ugh….

Midlife Slicess last blog post..It’s a Pandemic!

Jane says:

Yeah, I thought the chef thing was a trick! This is cool because like Beth said, you get to tell us some little stories you might not ordinarly think to share!

Janes last blog post..We Were in Business!

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