This Touching Moment is Brought to You by Puberty

This morning, while perusing all of the blogs I subscribe to in Google reader, I came across this post by Nothing Fancy, in which she talks about how her pre-teen son managed to lose a plastic container of sliced oranges at his soccer game this weekend.  I began to reply, but then it just started to get out of hand, so I decided to bring it over here, because heaven knows I’ve had enough experience with this sort of thing.  I don’t understand it, but I’ve had plenty of experience with it.

Girls, for the most part, would not only have NOT lost the oranges, but would have passed them out along with the decorative party napkins they would have convinced you to purchase and pack as well (this is certainly not universally true, but after 3 teenage girls…yeah.  It’s more the norm).

Boys on the other hand?  Oldest Son is now 25, so I *know* they are capable of growing up to be reasonably responsible human beings – he hasn’t seemed to have misplaced his furniture or caught his kitchen on fire and he’s been on his own since he was 18 (although I understand he has a dandy beer bottle collection under the sofa).  However, if his younger brother’s behavior is any indication of how he was a teenager – either menopause has really kicked in or I’ve just blocked it all out of my memory – I’m not entirely sure HOW he managed to grow up at all.  Surely I would have killed him…if he didn’t walk out into traffic and take care of the task himself first.

The Young One is 13, and to say that I’m amazed he hasn’t walked out into traffic – or left his head laying around on the dining room floor – is something of an understatement.  I would welcome something as simple as a lost plastic container of oranges.

We get up in the morning and I remind him to do things like dress, comb his hair, eat breakfast, go to the restroom, blink and breathe while I make his lunch.  Yes, the kid is quite capable of making his own bologna sandwiches, but not while he’s blinking and breathing and since I prefer him sighted and conscious (things are just easier that way), I do it for him.

I place the sack containing his lunch next to his book bag.  I then remind him, “Don’t forget your lunch.”  Every day.

After he’s eaten breakfast and I remind him to brush his teeth, I tell him, “Don’t forget your lunch.”  Every day.

After ascertaining he’s blinking, breathing, and wearing underwear, I tell him, “Don’t forget your lunch.”  Every day.

After he’s found his shoes and jacket, often retrieved from such inexplicable places as the top of the refrigerator, under the back porch or – gasp! – the front hall closet, I tell him, “Don’t forget your lunch.”  Every day.

After he’s wrestled his library books away from the dog and remembered that he had 37 forms for me to fill out and sign for school, I tell him, “Don’t forget your lunch.”  Every day.

He then walks straight out the front door.  And I run after him, waving a brown paper sack in the air, yelling, “YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!!”

Every day.

11 thoughts on “This Touching Moment is Brought to You by Puberty”

  1. Ahhhhh….your boy and his lunch. My boy has the same problem with his water bottle and soccer ball for soccer practice. Two items to bring to practice for the past 5 years…yet EVERY SINGLE TIME he forgets at least one of them.

    And of course there’s the “Go to your room and get blah blah blah”. Followed up with 10 minutes later “Did you go to your room and get blah blah?” To which he responds. “Oh yeah, I forgot.”


    How do they survive???????????????????????

    Nothing Fancys last blog post..Another Tween Soccer Game

  2. Our families are interchangeable. If I gave you PR for a week you’d be saying, “Don’t forget your lunch.” EVERY DAY!!! Then later in the day it would be, “Do you have waters packed in your bat bag?” And he’d say yes. Then he’d get to his game in the 100 degree heat and say, “I need water.”

  3. Every day that ST walks out the door to go to school, I take a quick scan to see what he’s left behind. Almost always I find something and grab it as I’m running out the door to drive him to school. Sometimes I get him to school, walk back in the house and see a text book laying half under the sofa or somewhere else obsure. I sigh…pick it up and get right back in the car to take it to the school office. They’re use to me coming in with something so the minute I walk through the front door, someone says….”what did he forget today?” Teenagers….arghhhhh!!!

    Midlife Slicess last blog post..Apalling On So Many Levels

  4. YOU MEAN IT DOESN’T GET BETTER??? All this…”Mommy I can’t wipe my own bum” from my almost-five-year-old is going to turn into even more nagging, pestering, and reminding to blink and breath. OMG, I’ve been counting on you to lift me up, show me the way, give me hope and what’s this…you’re giving me nothing to look forward to here. Heck, I’m still freaking out about your post a couple of weeks ago regarding the internet viewing habits of a preteen boy.

    tricias last blog post..Acquisition of Language…the good & bad

  5. Don’t be sexist. My daughters forgot everything too and the concept of orange slices with matching napkins (what the Brits would call serviettes) is quite beyond them.

    School lunches were provided. I raised after them waving violins. Much better for developing the triceps.

    Duchesss last blog post..Brits and Yanks: love and hate

  6. Duchess – oh, sexism is the FARTHEST thing from my mind. In fact, after raising one son to adulthood, one daughter and one step-daughter (the third is still in high school, but as a junior she’s almost raised), I can say the fact that girls, on the whole, are less forgetful than boys is just about the kindest comparison I can make.

    Because anyone who prefers a teenage girl over a teenage boy is either raising a saint or simply ready for the funny farm.

  7. When does puberty end for boys? My 19 year old daughter did not drive me near as crazy as my 16 year old son does. Latest? He lost the garage door opener. Again. One night he slept with it in his pocket and we thought the garage door ws broken becuase it kept opening “on its own” and freaking my husband and I out.

    phhhsts last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  8. i love hearing these stories…my nephew who is now 21 but still at home still pulls stuff like this, altho his mom won’t run after him with his lunch anymore…my favourite – when his dad gets after him to move one of his two trucks and he does the yeah yeah yeah thing, then hops in the other truck and leaves cos he’s forgotten what he just agreed to…the funny part is the colour his dad turns everytime it happens…and that’s not just me being the pain-in-the-ass SIL, his wife PerfectSister giggles too…

    thistles last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

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