To Breathe, or Not To Breathe

Despite the fact that the high temperatures are only going to be in the low 40s this weekend and we have a chance for flippin’ snow on Sunday or Monday, Spring is definitely here. How do I know? My sinuses say so…in the most unpleasant ways.

I’ve suffered from allergies most of my life and I must say one of the best things about the move north is that there is NO MOUNTAIN CEDAR HERE; in fact, my allergies have been pretty quiet for the nearly 3 years I’ve been in Ohio. However, with the late spring, everything seems to have decided to bloom at once and my poor old sinuses are rebelling.

It started with a headache I thought was stress and lack of sleep related (until I bent over to get a dish out of one of the lower cabinets and my head nearly exploded) then progressed to itchy, watery eyes and a post nasal drip that rivals the flow of the Missouri River. It has gotten so bad, in fact, that I am medicating myself with Benadryl.

I don’t like taking medications, even over-the-counter medicines. I have to be at death’s door before I’ll take a dose of NyQuil. You see, I’m paranoid. I always have been and I probably always will be. I won’t go anywhere near a light switch with wet hands, I don’t get back in to my car while pumping gas during cold weather for fear of blowing myself up with a spark of static electricity, and we won’t even go into how I avoid having Mentos and diet Coke in the house at the same time (thank you, Myth Busters).

While I know that taking the occasional aspirin or using Benadryl till my allergies pass won’t really hurt me – in fact, they will probably make me feel much better – you hear so much about drug side effects (and God help you if you mix even over-the-counter medications together) that it really gives you pause. Honestly, listen to some of the disclaimers the next time a commercial comes on television for the newest Wonder Drug: “May cause vomiting, diarrhea, a sudden drop in blood pressure, erosion of your digestive system (so make sure you can stand or sit upright for the next 18 hours), bleeding from the eyes and ears, massive liver failure and ingrown toenails.” Oh, yeah – I want my husband to have an erection that badly. Uh-huh.

Well, needless to say I’ll keep taking the Benadryl until the pollen count subsides enough for my head to go back to normal (and yes, I use that term loosely). But you can be damned sure that I won’t exceed the recommended 6 doses in 24 hours.

One thought on “To Breathe, or Not To Breathe”

  1. If I EVER had an erection lasting more than 4 hours the LAST person I would call would be my Doctor.

    And if you ever met her you would understand!

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